Therapy for the Intellectualizers
For when you can’t get out of your own head, or don’t know how to “feel your feelings”
Intellectualization is a defense mechanism used to focus attention on “solvable” issues, rather than feeling and processing the uncomfortable emotions that may be arising from under the surface.
Intellectualization is one of the most common defense mechanisms, and those who utilize it often consider themselves to be “over-thinkers”. It creates distance from our emotions and limits the ability to be fully present in our lives.
The intellectualizers, over-thinkers, over-analyzers, constant “do-ers”…
Sometimes we fall into this misconception that we can think or learn our way out of distressing feelings. I am here to tell you the hard truth, which is, we can’t.
No matter how many self-help books we read or podcasts we listen to, we can’t suppress our distressing feelings forever.
We often find ourselves in this pattern of behavior due to childhood experiences, such as being told we are “too much”, or if it did not always feel safe, physically or emotionally, to share how we were feeling.
In therapy we can work together to identify where this pattern of behavior stems from and how we can start to feel more and think less.
Examples of Intellectualization
After you are passed up on a big promotion at work, you make a spreadsheet of all the things you could have done differently, or will do now, rather than sitting with the feelings of disappointment, frustration, or sadness.
You find yourself to be great at describing what the issue is, but not able to identify what you are feeling.
Getting stuck on something that seems unjust, and restating the facts of the given situation over and over again, rather than accepting what has happened.